Voices
One of the things that really distinguishes our system members from one another is our voices.
Inside our head, we think at each other, and the thoughts have different voices attached. Each one of us has a different pattern of choosing what words we use, how we phrase things, how formal or informal our speech comes out. Inside, some of us have deeper voices and others have higher ones. We have different words and phrases we unconsciously repeat. Those of us who spend time together inside sometimes “catch” wordings from each other, just like people who hang out in the outside world.
When we found out about plurality, we never expected those voices to translate outside of our head. We assumed we would all sound the same, with maybe some differences in tone or choice of words. So the first time we recorded ourselves and watched it back, we were shocked.
It happened because we had come across DID youtubers shortly after finding out we were plural. We had a lot of free time then, and were experimenting with different fronting schedules. One of us had an idea to try recording short videos as an experiment, and cajoled everyone else into it. At the time, there were only 6 people fronting. They all recorded up to 10 minutes of themselves talking when they were alone in front.
Watching those videos back is probably, to this day, one of the strangest experiences we’ve ever had. Not only did we each move in distinct ways and even look a bit different in the face (due to holding our facial muscles differently), the voices from inside did translate. They translated shockingly well. Even though our physiology limited pitch, so that the lower voices sounded higher outside than in, each person’s character came through exactly how we had experienced them internally. Even their facial expressions looked how we imagined them inside. And we were aware of how much we had not been acting. Everyone had recorded what they assumed was a boring video of them talking how they normally talked.
We have recorded video of system members as individuals for almost 15 years since then. Even as our numbers have grown, the truth of our differences remains the same. At some point, we started recording songs. We were curious to see if singing was similar to talking in that we would each have different singing characteristics. That was even more strange, because some of us are tone deaf and others aren’t, and the tone deaf ones sound fine to themselves but horrible to others in the same system using the same ears. The same recording sounds different to different people. When people are co-conscious, and one of them is tone deaf, the tone deaf one can actually hear how bad they sound through the experience of the other person listening to them sing in real time. But then if that person leaves the front, the tone deaf system member sounds fine again.
Several times now, we’ve picked songs that we feel describe our experience in some way and recorded a karaoke version where different members sing different lines. We take care to front individually when recording our lines so that only one member is recorded at a time. Then we edit it all into one song and marvel at the result. We always sound more distinct than we expect, even after witnessing it over and over again.
So here is our latest experiment. The song is Imaginary Friend by the kpop band Itzy. Here is the original music video (tw: self-harm):
Here is the English version of the song (no tw):
Imaginary Friend - English version lyrics - Itzy
And here is our version where a different system member does each line or partial line. A total of 46 system members volunteered for this one, including almost all of the kids. Enjoy the dissonance! We definitely do.